Good morning everyone, I’m St. Peter, welcome to the line that leads to the gates of Heaven…Opening the Gates…Oops that’s my Christ-lyer key.

Excuse me? Yes I know it’s a long wait. We’re doing everything we can to get to you. Yes, I know you had to wait on earth at the Dr’s office for test results and at the court room for the verdict, you thought heaven would be different? It is, you’re not there yet. But what’s the rush you’ve got all eternity. & some of you are better off waiting here than going to your final destination.

Next! Hello Mr. Self Righteous, let me see your resume. Why should I let you into the kingdom? Well now don’t get all huffy, it’s a standard question. Let me look your name up in the Book of Life. Hmm, I’m having trouble finding it, Your name should be here but it looks like something s been erased ( Rev. 3:5) “To him who overcomes I will not erase my name from the Book of Life.” Let me pull up your file on the Celestial computer. Excuse me-What kind of heaven is God running? O.k. I’ve found you, I see you used to hiss what kind of earth is God running? So back to my original question why should we let you into God’s kingdom? You prophesized in His name and cast out demons in His name and in His name performed many miracles…Matthew 7:22

Just a second—“Barry come on in, no you don’t have to stand in line.God’s waiting for you!”

OK Where were we? Why does he get to cut in line? He’s a personal friend of God’s. Which brings us to you, it says here” I never knew you.” Keep your voice down I realize this is difficult, but all those things you accomplished was the Holy Spirit working in spite of you.It’s noted here everything you did was either so people would admire you or to earn heavenly points. Christianity is not a point system it is a relationship with Jesus Christ. Furthermore, the time you got involved at church was merely to exert your influence against the ministry to those neighborhood youth, “hoodlums” I believe you called them.

Next! Mr. Bare Minimum resume please. Baptized, confirmed at 12 tithed—wait a minute t hat’s not tithing that’s giving a little spare change. Your wife was a deacon? Why is that on your resume? Oh you had to watch the kids those evenings. What about all the opportunities you missed? You neglected to help out at the church or with the homeless. Never shared your faith with anyone--not even your children. I see you justify this with a busy schedule. Being a Christian wasn’t convenient? Dying on the cross for your sins wasn’t convenient for Jesus either. So why should we let you in to heaven?The grace of God? Yeah, come on in.

Mr. Philanthropist--Resume please. You were a good person, according to whose standards? The worlds? You didn’t go to Church-why? The Church is full of hypocrites—there was always room for another one! Besides, Christians aren’t perfect just forgiven. No,forgiveness is not a license to sin; it’s a never ending second chance to get right with God. What about the Crusades and Inquisition, those were centuries before your time. & do you really think that the knights of the Crusades and the Priests that tortured people were really acting in the name of God? What about all the money you left to the hospitals? Our records show you received quite a tax right off and wasn’t your name on the buildings. You got your reward.

Next! Mrs. Christian, you’ve been standing in line? You didn’t have to wait all this time. You knew that—you just wanted to help others fill out their resume with the correct information. Let me see your resume—you can’t wait to give Jesus a great big hug for all He’s done for you? Come on in!

Next! Mrs. Lost--Resume please… You were promiscuous; you did a lot of partying, married-divorced, married –divorced, married –divorced. Your children won’t talk to you…you did absolutely nothing productive with your life…What’s this You are hoping for the grace of God found in Jesus Christ? Hey wait a minute that’s not your handwriting! Oh you were standing in line next to Mrs. Christian—Come on in! Zechariah 8:23 Let us go with you for we have heard that God is with you. Mrs. Christian why are you still here? Oh you’ve been waiting for your new friend? Then you can have the privilege of introducing her to our God of Grace. Listen to all the cheering! It’s just like it says in Luke 15:7. There is more joy in heaven when one sinner repents than in the 99 righteous.

Next! Mr. Selfless--Resume please…You haven’t written much down as to why you should be let into heaven. Jesus has your name written down as Welcome. I noticed you often took care of your sick neighbors because they didn’t have family close by. I see here you used to go through your closet and give to the church annual clothing drive for the poor. You gave a considerable amount of $ to the homeless and hungry. I see you voted against the Death Penalty because you felt it might deprive criminals of an opportunity to meet Jesus. You don’t remember any of these things? (Matthew 25) Jesus says whenever you did this to the least of them you did it unto Me. Come on in!

Next! Mrs. Self Righteous. Yes your husband was already here. I see you want to thank God…for making you a better person than the average loser. Sounds like Pharisee’s prayer in Luke 18:11 “I thank thee that I am not like others.” Yes you did live according to the rules. What? Why is he getting in? No you’re right he doesn’t deserve it, but he asked for mercy. No it’s not fair- it’s grace. I realize he sinned a bunch. Well that’s just the nature of God, He likes to forgive and save. You don’t want to be in heaven, if his kind is going to be here? O.k. we can honor that request.

Next! Mrs. Excuses-- Resume please…You didn’t go to Church--Pastor William was boring. How come you didn’t look for another Church? You were kind of mean spirited to quite a number of folks. Why? Your parents were never around, you shouldn’t have had to deal with that problem, it was unfair, you lost your job, you had a chemical imbalance—you were a victim. Sounds like those who were invited to the banquet, but they all made excuses. The statute of limitations has run out on blaming the past. I see you wrote down that you were not given enough faith to be responsible for any of God’s requests. That’s an interesting loop hole to try and exploit. But you were responsible for what you did know.

Next! Mr. Cheap Grace--Resume please… Jesus is your Savior and you’re here to claim the blessings. Why wasn’t He Lord? I see you have down your favorite hymn was, “I did it my way” by Frank Sinatra. What hymnal is that in? You followed God in your own way.God shared with you how He wanted to be followed, but youadjusted the rules according to your fancy. You took care of your own? Even the Heathen’s do that much. You had good intentions?The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Let me get this straight, no church, no self denial, no giving of yourself to anything other than your own cause, no response to God’s grace? It appears your faith was nothing more than eternal Fire insurance. You were just hoping to get into this place? Heaven is not a place; it’s the presence of God.

Next! Mr. Mediocrity--Resume please…You say you were noMother Theresa, but then again you were no Charles Manson. Interesting comparison! You’re just an average person? Mediocrity isn’t what God wanted from you. He gave you the power of His Holy Spirit, and as a Christian you were called to be extraordinary by dispensing the presence of power of Jesus on those around you. When America was going down you didn’t bother to vote and when you did it was merely for the candidate that offered the best tax breaks. When the church was struggling you shrugged your shoulders—not my problem. God wanted more than good enough. Yes youfollowed the letter of the law, but there is the Spirit of the Law—sharing God’s abundant life. Revelations 3:15. I wish you were hot or cold but if you are lukewarm I will spit you out of My mouth.

Next! MR. $--Resume please…All you’ve put down on the resume is a very large dollar sum! You gave all that $ to the Church? I bet your pastor loved you! That kind of money can make a lot of ministry happen. What--you’re now demanding entrance into heaven. We owe you? Hold on a second, “Hello God, its Mr. $ demanding entrance into Heaven…What? Give him his $ back and tell him to go to …

Next! Mr. Rebellious. Your resume says you think Heaven will be boring sitting on clouds and strumming harps? You want to go where the action is—where all your friends are? O.k. take the next left.Wow is this guy in for a shock! Weeping and Gnashing of teeth. Why do people assume the God who designed such an incredibly vast panorama of eco systems on earth will have a boring heaven?

Next. Mr. Theologically Correct--Resume please… Wow you’ve filled out quite a bit of information. I see you have the correct doctrine, but what about the time your neighbor needed help? Oh she was Presbyterian Church USA and you were Presbyterian Church America—no mingling with the Heretics? What about the time you shunned the street person—and I quote “Get a job?” Or “God helps those who help themselves?” Actually that is not in the Bible. Furthermore, the Bible calls us to help everyone, especially those who a have fallen in life or our perceived enemies. James 1:22 says be doers of the Word not merely hearers of the Word.

What do you mean I have to let you in because you believe in Jesus?Even the demons believe and you won’t find any of them in here.You are theologically correct but something is not adding up. What do you mean who am I to judge, What did you call me “Mr. St. Peter the denier.” Still focusing on others faults—speaking of denying I’m denying you entrance!

What’s all the commotion? Oh someone went back to earth—another near death experience. People assume they’re getting into heaven because they saw a bright lights and felt a warm fuzzy feeling. The light and warm feeling is God’s presence emanating all around here.Revelations 21:23 The city has no need of the sun for the glory of God has illuminated it.

Next! Mrs. Cover all bases. Let’s see you prayed to Jesus, held your crystal, followed your astrological horoscope, had your tarot cards read and you want to go back as the Queen of France. Reincarnation what a great lie Satan used to fool folks. Unfortunately, all those other religious tools you relied upon were incompatible with and in fact, have hindered your entrance into Heaven—John 14:6 I AM the Way the Truth and the Life No one comes to Father but through Me.

A loving God wouldn’t send people to Hell? Yes He is a loving God, full of so much love that at great cost to Himself He created a way for fallen humanity to be reunited with Him. But He is also a just God and for all the millions of people who scoffed “where is God?” or cried out “There is no justice,” Guess what it is all be sorted out her and now at the Gates of Heaven. No, God doesn’t’ send people to Hell. He is merely honoring your choice…God did not make us robots, but gave us free will, to choose life with Him or to live life without Him.

I need a break—last person before I get some Angel food cake. Mr. Struggler--Resume please… Yeah you sinned a lot and made a ton of mistakes, but you never stopped praying, never quit the Church,never gave up on God. What about your sins? What sins? There aren’t any recorded here. He’s forgotten them--Hebrews 8:12 I will remember their sins no more!

Come on is…Wait a minute what’s in your hand? Nothing? Now look, you came into the world with nothing and your leaving with nothing—what’s in your hand? Just a list of names? Let me see it.Just a list of names of the people that if it weren’t for them you’d never have made it? Let me see it! Why it’s your old church directory, I know all of these folks, in fact on my way to the gates I passed them, and they were painting a big sign to hang over the street that said, Welcome Home!